How can I understand the difference between damaging and self-accommodating behaviours?

An overwhelming goal of mine, especially now that I’m in my early adult life, is to continue validating and accommodating my neurodivergent needs.

Letting my mind bend and think out of the box, and accept the flexible way I do things - like sleeping, eating, socialising, hobbies, work, etc. Within the remits of functioning in society and not hurting anyone, as best I can.

My current curiosity is, how can I work out what pertains to a self-accommodating, neurodivergent vs a self-sabotaging or unhealthy behaviour or choice?

An example would be socialising. I don’t do much of it; I don’t have a wide array of friends (technically, four of which I’ve known for decades and visit periodically). I feel a pressure to go out, meet people, be outdoors most days, etc. But I just, often don’t feel up for it. I find it quite difficult to figure out if it’s a thing I don’t want to, but should do, or if it’s a thing that ‘ought’ to be done by ‘normal’ people and excludes anyone outside of that norm (me).

This happens with a variety of things, like working, living in a place, pursuing hobbies. I’m curious how you work through this if you also struggle with it. 🤔