How do I buy Bitcoin?

Before getting any answers, let me tell you a bit about myself so you can understand where I'm coming from.

I am 37 years old. I have no savings. I have no investments. I have never made an investment in anything outside of my contributions to my 401k. I have never had a Schwabb account or a Robin Hood account or anything of that nature so I have no knowledge of how to use them. All of that said, I have woken up to the idea that the US dollar is not as durable a vehicle for storing value as it used to be. I would like to build wealth, but I don't know what I'm doing, but I think Bitcoin is a good place to start.

I have a hard cap of $500 until I get my tax return. I've heard rumblings that Trump is going to make moves that could increase the value of Bitcoin further so I'd like to get in before that happens. Please, how do I get started?