running out of time

Hello all,

Life’s a boxing match, sometimes you get the best of it or it gets the best of you - roll with the punches or get knocked out. I’ve been jobless since technically February of last year with a brief stint at a Mental Health Clinic (June to July of 2023) for reasons on top of BPD, I can’t help but feel I’m running out of time especially because I have no idea what I want to do. I’m a (23M) with a (22F) girlfriend who’s going to end up becoming a nurse post grad school - I can’t help but compare not that she makes me feel invalidated, our communication is fantastic. I just feel so at a low, 2023 I sacrificed my career for my past relationship which ultimately did not work out and I was stuck for quite a bit and arguably still am. Thankfully medication helps with wanting to commit suicide or feeling there’s no light at the end of the tunnel but at the end of the day, I just want to know if I’m alone with not knowing what I want to do in my life, if I truly am running out of time or even if at 23, I’m three years too late as some people in my family have told me.

any advice or ideas are appreciated and all the blessings to you all.

tl;dr - I feel lost at 23 having been jobless for a year, can't help but feel alone or three years behind the eight ball.