18 and just got diagnosed

Hello!

I will start this off by saying I am 18, had my first seizure (Tonic-Clonic) on November 10th of 2024 where I was rushed to the hospital after my mum found me on the couch and I had turned blue from lack of oxygen. I had 2 more seizures from November - December, of which I believe were absent seizures (???). Then another TC on January 1st, and again on February 4th, and multiple smaller ones (That i believe are absent, but im not sure) in between.

I haven't been put on any medication yet from my neurologist and have had multiple EEG's.

What I am making this post for is asking people who have dealt with this longer than me does it ever get any less scary?

I am scared to do a lot of the stuff I used to do because of all the seizures. I used to be insanely athletic, I would run 5-10km everyday, on my universities swim and cheer team, and I used to go out almost everyday. a lot of these things have been cut down or I have stopped doing them all together. I feel scared to go out, I feel scared to do literally anything now. Will this ever stop? Like, will i stop being scared of existing?

People treat me different now, they are more cautious, more restricted. Everything. Even my best friends, who have known me since I was 13 act strange now. People are more likely not to invite me to things, talk to me, etc.

I just want my life back, and it feels like this has taken it away from me completely.