Felling directionless in life

I want to share my story as a year 1 international in HKU.

I rejected PolyU half scholarship offer thinking HKU would be much better in the future, so my tuition fee for 4 years is around 100k USD.

I expected Macau government to lend out scholarship for me since I am a top student. Well guess what, no the fuck they just took the money and give it to rich people who had better high school grades and since I was working on IAL I didn’t have time to focus on high school grades. Now scholarships in HKU is basically impossible since u have to work ur ass with high GPA and volunteer and stuff for just 10k HKD, and not to mention most require u to be local. Honestly I hate my life, I hate the wrong decisions that I keep making, had I gone to UST, CU, Poly, I would have most likely gotten a scholarship. My family is rlly not that wealthy and now I am in 100K usd debt