Is fear of rejection not normal in relationships?
Hello all. It's been a while. I'm back because I just realized I... may have an unhealthy view of relationships. I borrowed a picture from another poster here to ask my question, but is fear of rejection not normal? As in, here it's considered a part of a stage of attraction that may or may not fade into proper love over time, and in proper love you just... believe that your partner truly loves you and will never leave you? This is hard to understand for me as I can't see it that way. Even if you do really love each other, you still fear rejection because it can still happen for any reason whatsoever, so naturally, you do what is required so you don't get rejected. And even then it still happens without you. Some may say that doing something good solely for the purpose of maintaining a relationship isn't love, and I see that as well. But I also know that that just kind of is what a relationship is. The belief that your partner will never leave you is automatically a delusion because each person has standards that must be maintained, otherwise you're just compromising to accommodate each other's flaws, which creates stress. It's like breaking a promise. The person you hurt says they're okay with it after a certain period of time, but in reality they are actually waiting for you to mess up so they can leave. This is usually where working together to help each other improve comes in, but how do we do this? How do we approach a problem when people don't like being approached about their problems and are usually blind to their issues?
Hello all. It's been a while. I'm back because I just realized I... may have an unhealthy view of relationships. I borrowed a picture from another poster here to ask my question, but is fear of rejection not normal? As in, here it's considered a part of a stage of attraction that may or may not fade into proper love over time, and in proper love you just... believe that your partner truly loves you and will never leave you? This is hard to understand for me as I can't see it that way. Even if you do really love each other, you still fear rejection because it can still happen for any reason whatsoever, so naturally, you do what is required so you don't get rejected. And even then it still happens without you. Some may say that doing something good solely for the purpose of maintaining a relationship isn't love, and I see that as well. But I also know that that just kind of is what a relationship is. The belief that your partner will never leave you is automatically a delusion because each person has standards that must be maintained, otherwise you're just compromising to accommodate each other's flaws, which creates stress. It's like breaking a promise. The person you hurt says they're okay with it after a certain period of time, but in reality they are actually waiting for you to mess up so they can leave. This is usually where working together to help each other improve comes in, but how do we do this? How do we approach a problem when people don't like being approached about their problems and are usually blind to their issues?