So traumatized by others calling me sojho.

I am writing this seriously and it is really not meant to be funny. I grew up in a 'sojho' household where everyone was sojho and introverted. I went to school and yes I didn't have a 'great' experience. I have always been an introvert, however as I grew up and with internet I did learn about various nuances of communication, being assertive , funny and such things. As I began to focus on developing my social skills, yes I did improve quite a lot. I had girls talking to me, showing interest in me, many people respecting me , being life of the party and so on. And MANY STILL do. Like I am not the previous guy who couldn't stand up for himself etc. And I am very very far from someone who always sees good in others. In fact I despise a lot of people, and am not afraid telling them that to their face when necessary.

But my problem is, STILL sometimes for some reason that I have no control over, I get disrespected by being called sojho. And when that happens, I usually am assertive with such people. Indirectly putting them in their place. ( As directly saying - Malai sojo vanchas! Would reinforce the idea that I am sojo). But that is not always feasable, as my own relatives who help me, often disrespect me by saying that.

I am quite frustrated that I have really no control over this area. I feel lack of control. I also have a minor mental illness, literally. But Despite all my efforts to appear cool , respected etc, some chutiya people for some reason 'sense' that I am sojo and act in a weird way towards me.

I know that some of you might say - it's a fool's errand to try to make everyone happy. I agree. But I can see that for me it's different. I 'feel' weird and isolated sometimes which MANY MANY people don't. NO matter where I go, atleast in Nepal I will encounter people who will look down upon me AS sojho. If you talk about my family, then we ARE still looked down upon as sojho by other relatives.

Note, for about 80% people I am cool with them and this is something that doesn't happen that often. But many people, even WITH GOOD INTENTION call me sojho which I am not happy with. Do I shy from conflict with them? No. Unless I have something to gain from them. But still I feel kinda isolated, left out , not included. And I feel sad that I still didn't have the social skills to prevent this from happening.

And you know the saddest part? I feel happy that I will leave Nepal and Nepal's culture of not liking - honest, blunt, upfront people and branding them as sojho. There is no equivalent toxic concept of sojho in the west (One gullible vai was saying - sojho means naive , dumb , spineless. A SOJO VAI ! Timley kitab ma padheko jasto Kura teti simple chaina yar! ) . So think about this - A WIDE RANGE personalities in Nepal are looked down upon as sojho. WIDE. Introverted , Honest, Not assertive , Not caring about others , , Not conniving, Not being funny , Not confrontational, obedient, the list goes on and on. Notice that those are not mutually exclusive. A person can be Honest yet assertive (sojo). Pure hearted yet funny (sojo), Calculating but doesn't talk much (Sojo) . Confrontational yet obedient (sojo). So a wide range of people will be looked down up as sojho.

But why look down upon them? Why not simply like them and let them feel included?
In my case - It likely stems from - me not talking with people that much , or don't overtly start to tease others unless I am interested in them. (Malai ta sita bolna manchaina, interest lagena vandaima ma sojo vaye? It also doesn't mean I don't like you. It simply means I am not interested.) But that doesn't mean someone should look down upon me as naive. I am tired of unfriending many people and taking revenge on them, being in conflict with them although I didn't mean to. Have lost many friends that way. Its like Nepali culture , and me ( a Nepali!) have SO much difference. Atleast against about 20% of people. It's like Nepal itself is a foreign country to me in a foreign culture, where I cannot adjust no matter how much I try, although I have been here all my life!