living with/around people
I am not a diagnosed schizotypal! i have no diagnosis I should clarify but do present psychotic symptoms and have had an episode in the past.
I am a girl in uni (17) and dorming with other people. i am in a volunteer based scholarship and my dorm is for people like me in the program--along with (mostly) other non-scholarship students
The program is very small and so there are kind of cliques, and the people on either side of my room are girls I sort of know through orientation but I've had a strong suspicion they dislike me (my therapist is of the opinion im just being paranoid/projecting my dislike onto them) but they are quite loud (talking, laughing, having guys over both during reasonable hours and late at night). Additionally the girl above me is quite loud (Stomping) and whatnot. It bothers me very badly (i don't like noises and its hard for me to just block them out with headphones as knowing they are still occurring bothers me equally if not more) and it practically sounds like they're in my room. I've been concerned for about as long as I've been here that perhaps I am just not cut out to live/be around people--I genuinely cant stand noise I am not in control of. I dont like clocks/traffic/mowers etc. I was hallucinating voices in my vents last night but like all my auditory hallucinations im unsure if it was real
But I am frustrated because living with so many people makes it harder to tell. I dont like how loud these girls are--I hate to paint myself as an outsider in this sense but I feel inherently incompatible with people like that. I despise being around them and constantly subjected to their noise.
My roommate is okay! she irks me sometimes which is unavoidable (sometimes she says things that bother me or feel targeted etc. she really doesnt understand the way i think/understand and im unsure of how to explain it to her so ive sort of given up on it) but shes typically quiet which is really really nice.
Anyways just curious i suppose if other people have kind of decided they dont want to live with others or? If there is perhaps a way around this or something. I dont see anything wrong with ostracizing oneself like that (i think id be lonely living out in the woods or something but living alone aside from being constantly worried about break ins wouldnt be bad imo) or your thoughts/experiences!