dating with psychotic symptoms

hii sorry i feel as though i post questions a lot but as ive said, being in this community has been really beneficial to me and i like hearing others takes on this because i feel like advice for most isnt really beneficial to me.

I 17f got recently romantic with a guy at my college (hes 19 but i dont find that important) and it seems to be moving towards dating

i have had two past relationships one irl one online, and for both i became really detached and apathetic easily and when romantic/other similar situations or things come up i detach almost fully. I am never really comfortable with it, i suppose. But i do desire affection/love/touch etc, but not only do i detach mentally in the moment---i tend to detach early into it and break it off (i have broken off my past 2). the irl one was junior year of high school and the other one was in september with a guy much older than me over text.

I am still very young anf i dont know if this is just typical for my age, or if i need to address something or even what that would be....it really just feels so disconnected/fake to be with someone, almost like i am just smiling and nodding for a long period and that is the relationship. Addittionally I am very content being noncommittal with myself---i like alone time, like most ppl on here it seems.

Sorry if this was disorganized im quite tired haha to conclude...does anyone else feel this way/have you broken it down further, is there a way to make things work?