self destruction of this disorder

I will now go on a rant no one asked me to like always. I feel like cluster b gets the "credit" for being the most self destructive or something alike. When I say I have a personality disorder some have said "at least its not bpd". As if this disorder isn't rough. Like I dont destruct and dont ruin all of my relationships. I cant control how I feel about someone because my head already made it up. I can't do something because thats bad. I cant trust no one. I panic when im delusional. I scared of my own reality that I myself create. I break down about something that never happened, but it felt like it did. I get laughed at for talking about something that only I feel. I get annoyed at people who probably didnt do anything wrong. I lose people left and right because that whats right, that didnt feel right, THEY DONT FEEL REAL. I HATE EVERYONE, but I hate myself the most for being the one creating the problem. I don't choose the way I feel or what I do. Yet it's funny when I'm eccentric, its funny how I think and its okay because I dont show when I want to rip my hair off because of something I created.

Every single pd should be taken serious. None should be laughed off. We all struggle, no pd more than the other. All diagnosis is serious. We shouldn't be compared nor laughed at. That's my rant