They won’t understand why I don’t wanna talk to them anymore

I told my dad my ex who just left, left because I have problems and break down. He said "well don't." and"you shouldn't have told him about that." WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT? YOU THINK IM THAT STUPID? AND THEN YOURE GONNA ACT LIKE IM SILLY FOR THINKING ITS BS ADVICE?

Then tonight my mom out of no where lectures me for telling my dad about my life and catching up. That “no man is gonna understand what you're taking about and you can't confide in ANY of them. They can’t understand those emotions. Don’t tell your dad don’t tell your brother, tell ME.”Then she's like "saying 'I hate myself-I want to die' is not something you can share in a relationship. You have to keep it to yourself. Say 'I'm just having a bad day instead! You're just gonna drive people away if you're honest.” I said "so I can't be in a relationship?" And she said "no you can you just can't share that."

It's either I can't be in a relationship or I can be but I have to bottle up those strong feelings and down play it to keep someone. You can’t not give someone a warning that you’re suffering. This means who I really am can't be in a relationship. She lectured me on this out of no where. She backhandedly said who I am can't have that. I told my last partner the truth. They're gone. My mom scolded me on why they're gone. I'm not sure what to say.

DAYS AGO SHE LITERALLY WAS LIKE YOU "See that's how you're supposed to have a spouse that loves you anyway."

WHAT THE FUCK WAS TONIGHT THEN???? YOURE SAYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT. AND YOUR GROWN BF CAN GHOST YOU BUT THATS OK AND YOU LOVE HIM ANYWAY.

What I'm hearing is "make man happy. Be good for man. Don't admit you're breaking down."