100% Doesn't solve all your problems.
I was rated in 2024 100% P&T. When I was rated I was numb for 2 weeks. I cried. Not because I was so happy but because I didn't imagine being this broken at this junction in my life (Mid 30s). I've continued to work but the career is absolutely brutal for my Anxiety (70%) and I'm considering quitting. What's shitty is even with 100% ($4300) and my wife working for combined income of about $7800 with hers and just my disability I can't stop stressing it won't be enough. Even though we ran the numbers 100 times.
Part of my issue is my diagnosis of Atychiphobia. It's real. I fear failure so much I become paralyzed. I can't enjoy good things or success because it's never enough. If I quit, I fail my coworkers. If I quit, will I fail my family. If I quit will I fail myself? Will I disappoint my wife? My kids? The problem is I set such unrealistic goals for myself, I achieve them and kill myself doing it. Anything less then crushing my goals is not enough. But then I fail my family because I work too much, or my stresses bleed over into my family life and I get annoyed or upset with them. It's a never ending brutal cycle that has no stop. Unless I stop work, the main driver of my Anxiety.
Ughhhhhhhhh.
I was rated in 2024 100% P&T. When I was rated I was numb for 2 weeks. I cried. Not because I was so happy but because I didn't imagine being this broken at this junction in my life (Mid 30s). I've continued to work but the career is absolutely brutal for my Anxiety (70%) and I'm considering quitting. What's shitty is even with 100% ($4300) and my wife working for combined income of about $7800 with hers and just my disability I can't stop stressing it won't be enough. Even though we ran the numbers 100 times.
Part of my issue is my diagnosis of Atychiphobia. It's real. I fear failure so much I become paralyzed. I can't enjoy good things or success because it's never enough. If I quit, I fail my coworkers. If I quit, will I fail my family. If I quit will I fail myself? Will I disappoint my wife? My kids? The problem is I set such unrealistic goals for myself, I achieve them and kill myself doing it. Anything less then crushing my goals is not enough. But then I fail my family because I work too much, or my stresses bleed over into my family life and I get annoyed or upset with them. It's a never ending brutal cycle that has no stop. Unless I stop work, the main driver of my Anxiety.
Ughhhhhhhhh.