I don't get how medication is so life-changing. I can't see how it's possible to live a good life with this disorder.

UPDATE: Holy shit I tried taking my methylphenidate with a high protein breakfast as some of you suggested, went about my merry way assuming it was doing nothing as usual, and then all of a sudden…I felt it kick in. I don’t even know how to explain it. It’s like my vision was slightly blurry but I didn’t know. And the background noise (in my brain) got quieter. THANK YOU ALL you are actual angels! ❤️❤️❤️. I’m still a little anxious though, and I’m on the lowest dose. Does this go away with time?

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 6. I was treated throughout my child, but I'm not sure it really helped...hard to say, because I don't really remember. I'm 40 now. As an adult, I didn't start treatment for ADHD until my 30s. It was never particularly fruitful, but I'm trying medication again now. I have yet to find any success with ADHD medication. If something does help, it helps for a day or a few days and then I seem to build a tolerance. Sometimes a medication will make me too anxious and impulsive. Often they do nothing. It's usually one or the other. I have tried basically all of them. And it sucks because when you have ADHD, every day that goes by feels like precious catching up time. But I try a medication and then have to wait 2 weeks to tell my psychiatrist that it doesn't work. Which means 2 weeks of my life go by with me getting nothing done. And repeat.

For a year, I've been mostly unemployed. I need to find a career job in my field, but I've only applied to 2. I pay my rent with a part-time job I work 3 days/week, and sometimes digging out of my savings. But it's running out. I pay for a lot of things with my credit card, and the balance is so high with such high interest, that it's unlikely that I will ever be able to pay it off--certainly not at this rate. Sometimes I have absolutely no hope; I see no way out of this and want to give up. Other days, I just try not to think about it so as to avoid the aforementioned feelings.

I see other women my age starting businesses, thriving as writers and artists, moving up in their careers. Most days I'm just sitting on my bedroom floor, scrolling the internet with a gross, absolute mess all around me.

The only thing that ever really helped is when I had an occupational therapist in college, which was only granted to me because I was severely depressed. Has anyone else felt that treatment for this disorder is completely futile?