How has bullying affected you into your adulthood?

I started to get bullied my first year in school. The typical teasing and didn't have a good kindergarten teacher. I cried everyday going to school.

In second grade, a girl pretended to be my friend and stole money from me. Thankfully she moved away. In 4th grade I got bullied by a different girl. She would make threats and told me she was going to squish my guts out. She would try to break me and my friends up out of jealousy by saying bad things about me to make them dislike me. She even shoved me when I was walking with my best friend at reccess. I would tell the teachers, but nobody did anything. I was silenced.

One day the vice principal called me into his office to have a talk with me. He was new and made the school environment feel like hell. I told him what was happening and he sent me back to class. I left feeling like I was the one at fault.

I eventually told my mom what was going on and she talked to the vice principal about our conversation. He said that I was a nice kid and that nice kids are targets. It was my fault and I should of just stuck up for myself. I tried to avoid and stand up to my bullies. I even told teachers, but nothing worked and if you're violent you get suspended.

The next year I became homeschooled and it was great, but I got alot of judgement from people. My oldest sister was one of them. She thought I was missing out. My experience with school just wasn't the same as hers. Now her kids are going through what I went through in school. You get punished for just being a good kid. You get punished for standing up and defending yourself.

The aftermath of bullying for me is having to watch my nieces and nephews go through what I went through in public school. It's not fair. The bad gets rewarded while the good gets punished. I can't help but also feel insecure from it all, like everything will be my fault and I will always be the one to blame. This is what causes children to unalive themselves. Bullying should never be tolerated. I don't know how schools think they are helping bullying with their no violence policies and stomp bullying rhetoric but its not working. It's basically if a kid shoves you and you shove back, you get suspended. If you just lay there and take it, your just another nice kid who should of stuck up for themselves. This is ludicrous!