How much should I help?

My kid recently told me she is trans. I am supportive, and happy she felt able to come out to her family. Her father and I are not together, but still a parental unit, and he is supportive, as is my husband, and her younger sister.

She is 17. She has asked me to have a meeting with school (6th Form). She agrees she needs to make a doctor's appointment to be referred on.

I wanted to know what she wants the outcome of the school meeting to be, and she says she doesn't know. I gave her over a week, reminding her several times to have a think, and giving options, but nothing.

I asked her to make a doctor's appointment, and I would go with her for moral support, either in the room or outside whatever she wanted, but she has not made an appointment. I have been reminding her once or twice a week for several weeks now.

I asked if she wanted to do some hair removal (particularly facial), and she said yes, but I can't get an answer for what she wants, razors, depilatory cream, electric something? Shrugs.

Next week is the end of term, and she is away on a trip. I just told her the meeting will have to wait until September, now, because I don't know what she wants the objective of the meeting to be. She seemed disappointed. I reminded her to make a doctor's appointment, and she scowled at the floor.

She has always found decisions hard, and I know she'd admit herself she is lazy, but how much should I do? I am reluctant to make appointments and make choices for her, because I feel such huge and personal decisions need to be driven by herself.

Am I holding her back and making her sad by not pushing?

She said she has only been thinking she's trans for 'a few months'. I never saw any signs prior to our first conversation, so maybe all this is too new for her, and I shouldn't make her rush? But she still wants me to meet with the school, seems upset I haven't made an appointment with the GP, and is irritated by her facial hair.

I'm not sure where to go from here.

Do I push, and feel like I'm forcing her to transition when it feels very new?

Do I leave it up to her and worry it's making her miserable?

I want to ask how this started and what the end goal is to try and guage where she might need guidance, but even in my head it sounds like I'm accusing her of not meaning it.

Further context: in general, she's pretty happy, and has supportive friends. She has come out to her close friend group, who are accepting, so far.

I live abroad about half the year, in roughly six week blocks. She lives full time with her father, but when I am back, we share a property.

Further to accusing her of not meaning it, I want to say it's ok if she doesn't want to do anything about it now, these are big things that need thinking about, but I don't know how to say that without it sounding like 'this is a phase, it'll pass' (which, of course, it may be, and I'm still fully in support of that- phases are fine too! - but I see how it may come across to a teenager who is feeling precarious).

And I am aware that shrugs, grunts and scowls are normal teenage communication, but it's not making it easier.

Typing this out has actually helped already, but if anyone has any advice, let me know!