How to confront my family

Wasn’t sure where to post this. Recently realized (through therapy) that I’ve been emotionally abused all my life (especially in childhood) by my family, mostly my folks (generational). I’m at a spot where I want to start addressing it with them. My bf has been the biggest help working through this, but to him it seems like returning to an abuser (“they can change”). I love my family, and I don’t want this to be an ultimatum. I’m just wondering if anyone else has gone through anything similar? How did you handle the situation? What was the outcome? What would you have done different?