ex hikkineet~ it gets better ♡

hey! just wanted to pop in here because i had a really weird experience yesterday, i used to self isolate myself a ton due to depression and being in a really toxic relationship with a hikki and it i barely left the house unless forced to, i struggled with my body and only went out wearing GIANT clothes T-T

after getting out of the relationship and doing a lot of self work and really just reflecting on my life because before then i used to be outgoing and a 'social butterfly' :3 so when the new year rolled over i decided to start going out more~ getting my hair done, trips to the spa, a random all girls trip to some local hotspring resort, so i was doing well and really enjoying my time not being cooped up in my room playing gacha games and thinking 'this is the life...'

the hotspring trip happened monday, so two days ago and i was up and about, all dolled up to go relax and journal by the pools, it was relaxing and right after we ended up driving back to the city and watching a movie, i felt free and young and alive~ after the busy day i was beat and decided i would do nothing yesterday ^{^}

while i was going through the day i found myself sitting at my desk, drawing little blue squares on my desktop and i felt a sense of dread wash over me and i started getting ready, out my pjs, slipped into some cute clothes and had no idea what i wad going to do, i ended up going to a cafe by myself and restocking some of my facial products and thats when i realized how dark and sad my room felt to the vast, exciting outside..

thanks for reading the random ramblings of a random internet girl! even if it seems dark just know one day your self-imposed prison wont seem as comfy anymore ♡