How do you handle a very bad D Leaguer?

Hey guys, I'm the captain of my D league team. This is my second year playing and my skill level teeters on the lower level C league/higher level D. Most likely will play C league next session, but I do enjoy watching the growth D league provides (and being one of the better players lol). I also want to mention for a D league the games are competitive within reason and most of the guys suck, but still want to win.

So as the captain of this team we've recently been assigned a completely new player who has only skated once in her life, doesn't know the rules of hockey, and I'm just not sure how to handle the situation. I've seen plenty of new players come through the league falling all over themselves at the beginning and ultimately get better through practice and some athleticism but this is the first one I've seen that was truly this bad and unathletic. I'm talking we can't even skate it into the zone because she's on the ground behind the goal or can't do line changes because she can't make it to the bench. On the sign up forms it mentions to new players to attend stick times so usually new guys are at least able to skate forwards. As the captain I feel like it's my job to be encouraging and sensitive, we are all out here to have fun but I can hear some grumblings from the other guys.

We are 3 games into the season with no real improvement. During the first game I kind of coached her to skate in the neutral zone (after explaining what the neutral zone is) and muck things up because she had no concept of offsides. This has improved somewhat but not really. I also recommended attending stick times just to get comfortable with her gear and being on the ice. To my knowledge she has not gone to any of these because they are either a.) during the day and she can't attend or b.) she's too embarrassed to go to the evening ones because "those kids will make fun of me." When she falls, she falls hard and I'm honestly scared for her safety as well as others around her.

Selfishly I thought she might acknowledge she bit off a bit more than she can chew and wouldn't show up but I have to give her credit for coming back every week. We even let her take a shoot out attempt in our last game just to give her some team rapport. I realize not everybody is going to be happy but how would you guys handle this situation? Any advice other than play C league? I'm doing my best but I'm not a coach, just a dude who can send group texts better than anyone else on the team lol