horrible depersonalization/dissociation

tw/// suicidal ideation

does anyone else just have the issue where everything feels so badly fake. like it legit feels like i’m not even living the same life i was 3-4 years ago. my sight feels fake, my brain feels fake, i just feel… fake-? like everything around me is in a weird video game like look. life just feels not real anymore. it gets worse when i’m depressed/suicidal..

i’ve dealt with horrible dissociation from time to time in my life but honestly now it’s everyday, 24/7.