A hard pill to swallow

You will always be the villain to some people. You will always be "that bitch" in their life story. No matter what you did or didn’t do, they will believe whatever hurts their feelings the least. They will hold on to what they insisted on misunderstanding for so many years, even with correction. Whatever makes them less accountable for how they hurt you. They won’t consider that "maybe this was wrong", no, it’s always going to be your fault to them. You made them feel this way. It’s your fault for feeling like this, you’re overreacting, you’re crazy for thinking that that was a problem. They say they were "taken-aback" by how you was hurt by something they said and defended their defensiveness. They didn’t mean it like that, you should know them better. You can explain and defend yourself until your lips fall off, but they won’t listen. At some point it just won’t be worth it to try. It‘s not my fault you didn’t want to understand me and that you ignored me when I told you how it was. You‘re the one who wanted to live in your own fantasy. That is not my responsibility.

I’m really struggling to come to terms that I’m just going to be "that person". I’m going to be the bad guy in every story to you tell that blindsided, backstabbed, and was crazy enough to throw everything you ever gave away. But this is for me. The end is for me and my sanity. You aren’t welcome in my life no matter how much you try to guilt trip me. Kind words saying you are there for me only mean so much when you never held to them when it mattered.