Do you feel taken for granted?

Hi, me (F) and my NP (m) are together for 15 years. Ever since we started polyamory things have been difficult, a lot of ups and downs, and trying to make things work. I constantly feel like my partner doesn’t listen to my feelings and feels like a cycle where the same issues keep returning. Our marriage is in an extremely tough spot right now, hanging on by the last threads.

We decided to start couples therapy, where it was suggested that we have a day completely dedicated for us, since time is a big issue for my partner and he feels I don’t give him enough of my time. Even though Friday doesn’t really work for me, as soon as the therapist suggested my partner thought it was a great day and I went along with it.

In order to really put some effort there, I planned a date for an activity that he has been saying he’d love to go for years (it’s a Halloween activity, so not many chances to get to). When I talked to him about it, he didn’t immediately say yes, but also didn’t say anything else, just said it sounded cool and seemed to like it. On Saturday I asked him if I could buy our tickets, since they were getting sold out fast. He tells me he doesn’t know, bc he was invited for a party by someone on Tinder.

I said I was feeling confused, since we agreed to that in therapy a few days before, and I felt I had no value to him to have our date cancelled so he could go on another date?

He kept saying he doesn’t understand what the matter is, and why can’t we go on another day. I just feel extremely frustrated, I don’t know if I am being too extreme. He keeps telling me I’m being unreasonable, but to me it just feels like being with me is only fine if he doesn’t have anything else better to do.