Men not pulling their weight

Not sure if this is the right place for this rant, but thought I’d vent for a second. My husband and I went through two years of IVF and are happily expecting twins in June.

I have two close girlfriends who have confided in me separately how their husbands are absent, don’t help, etc. and how as mothers they do all the parenting work. You’d think they were single mothers at times. Both have even mentioned divorce as a possibility. It breaks my heart.

I confided in my husband about these concerning stories. In the beginning of our relationship/living together I noticed how I was doing most the housework and after communicating my needs he stopped being lazy and is now a great and equal partner. Also, IVF was a struggle and it was hard on both of us, but we got through it together and I never had a doubt he’d not be supportive.

But I see how my friends, and even at times my brother being lazy about being a parent while the wives do ALL the work. I’ve heard stories about friends of friends in the same situation- husbands liking the idea of being a dad but don’t actually do any of the parenting, leaving the mothers exhausted and resentful.

All I can take away from these stories is to communicate up front with my husband about how we will share these duties, how we’re equal partners, etc. He won’t be “babysitting” if I go out with friends or have to work, I won’t ask him to “help” me watch the twins so I can take a shower. I expect him to be a present and equal partner.

Any other advice for first time parents to discuss before our little ones arrive?