I’m tired of being fat

I know you’re not supposed to say that while pregnant. I know this is not all just “fat” on my body; at least some of it is baby, fluid, etc. I know it’s necessary to make my baby healthy. I know I’m “beautiful in my own special way” or whatever the fuck people say to pregnant women. But at the end of the day, you know what? ..I just look fat. I look like Winnie the Pooh. I went from being a sexually attractive woman to (best case scenario) a “cute mommy”. I hate it. I hate going to the beach seeing other women in bikinis and I’m just waddling around, spilling out of my frumpy one piece at only 22 weeks. I hate that I work out multiple times a week and still just look flabby and middle aged because of these damn hormones. I hate that I don’t fit regular clothes but still look bad in maternity clothes.. I literally look bad in everything, no matter what styles I try or how much I size up. I’m so uncomfortable and distracted by how I feel and look in my own body that I’m not even remotely excited about the baby these days. That’s horrible to say. But guys.. I just hate my body and I’m not even to the third trimester yet. I just needed to vent.