Sensitive topic about being too silly

Hello sorry for bothering this is not my first time posting about this already. I started self harming not so long ago after a sudden urge. I am getting every precaution, I cut on the surface checking for tenders or weins to ensure that I won't damage them. Every time I use a new razor, before a cut I disinfect my arm, after it I disinfect again and apply a tightening adhesive plaster. It just really helps me, I experience a lot of guilty everyday. I can say that I am a Quote: Very kind to people, he will say sorry for even existing ( I don't remember from where it is ) I feel guilty for every my little action: bad joke, mistake, scaring someone accidentally. And it helps me a lot with being self conscious too, I feel embarrassed a lot and it helps me with it