i really loved using this subreddit for help planning, including setting our original budget. i hope this helps people - especially in HCOL areas - project some costs!

the details: friday wedding in downtown chicago, mid-september. we paid for 120 guests and had 111 attend (some last-minute dropouts due mostly to covid). we didn’t require testing or check vaccines - these were all folks that didn’t feel well, tested, and bowed out of their own accord.

overall spend: $69,948.08

this did NOT include: rehearsal dinner (estimated $10K), engagement ring, honeymoon, gifts for our parents (we plan on making them each a wedding album), or tiny bits that we didn’t want to separate out from larger purchases ($4 on gift bags for the wedding party, cards, some shipping costs, etc).

how did we pay for it? we both had very generous parents who had always planned to contribute to a wedding and were excited to do to. one set gave us a cash gift of $20K and then paid for the rehearsal dinner separately. the other set gave us a contribution of $47.5K. we covered the rest.

venue, catering, and bar: $31,120.58. this was EXPENSIVE and one thousand percent worth it to us. the venue was incredible (a rooftop in a pretty trendy neighborhood downtown), had a built-in rain plan, and EXCELLENT food. while the venue only “cost” $4K, the bulk of the cost here was a $24K food & beverage minimum (we were required to use on-site catering and bar). tax, tip, and admin fee were calculated off of this spend. the breakdown:

• food & beverage: $24,360. this included ten passed apps (did i mention we were trying to hit a very high minimum?), a station-style buffet dinner with 2 different cuisines, and top-shelf bar + 2 signature cocktails + tableside wine service at dinner + champagne before the ceremony. some of this (mostly bar upgrades) we added late in the game to actually hit the minimum spend. all the catering/bar staff time gets wrapped up in this pricing as well. we had multiple people tell us it was the best wedding food they'd ever had.
• venue rental: $4,000. this included a ceremony space separate from the cocktail hour/reception space, plus all tables, dinnerware, glassware, linens, chairs, lounge seating, highboys, etc - we did not rent a single thing to bring into this space beyond our own decor.
• tax/tip/admin fee: $9761,28. this was a 3% admin fee, 20% gratuity for serving staff, and 11.75% sales tax for the city of chicago.
• misc: $250 for dessert plating and some random $20 fee from an admin error that was our fault.
• not included in this total above is a $150 tip for the venue coordinator.

dessert: $628.82 for 5 different kinds of pie; no cake. 10/10 would pie again. they delivered this day-of; the venue staff sliced/plated/served.

venue insurance: $235. i think we did marvin event insurance? we didn’t bother with any additional riders because none of them cover COVID anyway. if someone tested positive, this party was going to rock and roll without them (we both got covid in july so we felt reasonably safe).

marriage license: $60.

day-of coordination: $2200, inclusive of tip. this was really 60-days-out coordination, but we saw the most value on the day. both of us are VERY organized (ask me about using asana to project-manage a wedding), but truly, having someone there on the day to set everything up (and wrangle everything back into our car) was invaluable. our DoC (and her assistant on the day) ran rehearsal, checked in with us all night to bring us drinks, coordinated with the band, and generally handled every single thing on the day so we could just have fun. our venue actually required a professional DOC (even though the venue has its own events manager). money incredibly well spent.

attire: $6,123.50. this includes:

• dress: $1780 - alyssa kristin, bought as a sample in near-perfect condition.
• alterations: $675 for a simple bustle, cups added, buttons added, a few hook & eyes, and letting out the hips. i went to an independent seamstress that i’ve used before and trust (and i also know she’s worked on this designer’s dresses before).
• jewelry/my shoes: $261. we both bought relatively inexpensive (<$100) bands on etsy, and my shoes were simple nude heels from naturalizer that i’ll wear to every other wedding forever.
• groom’s clothing: $1,025. this includes a tux & shirt from indochino (OOF. it fit and it looked great but it was a JOURNEY - you get what you pay for), shoes, shirt studs, and a new bow tie. fun fact: my husband (AHH HUSBAND) bought about $4,000 worth of shoes online to figure out what he wanted. we had an inventory tracking system to make sure they all went back in the right boxes and shipped back to the right places. in the end, he kept one pair.
• NOT INCLUDED: rush shipping costs from the back-up options i bought from bhldn 10 days out. y’all, for the love of everything that is good, DO NOT do the final try-on of your VERY form-fitting crepe dress with no embellishments 3 days before you start your period. i had an absolute meltdown and ordered other options that i was going to get rush tailored. i came back down to earth with 6 days to go and sent everything back. i wore the original dress and looked, frankly, hot. don’t be like me.

photography: $3,300. this was for one photographer, from 1pm until the end of the reception at 11, no engagement photos. we know our photographer personally and we got a bit of a discount, and amped up the tip accordingly. he is a beautiful genius wizard and had previews to us within 36 hours.

music: $6,670. this was for ceremony sound (mic + amp) plus a 5 hour window of a 9 piece band, which we used for cocktail hour as well as dance floor time. they BLEW US AWAY. easily the best part of the night; i would have paid them double. i was half ready to go to the bank to get more cash to tip them with halfway through the reception. we also pulled out cash for tips at $450 based on our DoC’s recommendation for $50/head, but honestly, when we write a review, i’m not against somehow sending them more.

floral: $3,100. we definitely shopped around for this, and found a plant shop that also does weddings (but not as their primary business). our directive of “a shit ton of ferns” was well-executed (for both altar and tables), and this also included 1 bridal bouquet, 5 bridesmaid bouquets, and 3 boutonnières. all the altar/aisle/table arrangements were sold to us directly in pots, and we had guests take them home at the end of the night (we took home the giant altar ferns ourselves). everything was gorgeous and we were so pleasantly surprised, especially by the bouquets!

reception decor: $922.58. we didn’t rent anything; we purchased it all (and some we will re-sell). this included:

• candles: $229.36 (mix of marketplace finds and new purchases - i don’t even think we used them all)
• table numbers and menus: $128 from minted (these were important to me since they were really the only color in the decor)
• escort card display: $138.56
• photo escort cards: $118 (we had a picture of everyone printed by artifact uprising, and we wrote individual notes + their table number on the back)
• clips for photos: $17.71
• signage: $76 (includes a reusable letter board + signs from minted)
• card box: $47. this pissed me off but i personally refused to have any printed text on the box. could i have used a BASKET or a SHOEBOX or literally anything? yes. but i got weirdly hung up on this. we’ll sell it.
• “guestbook:” $33. instead of a guestbook we got notecards printed from canva for people to write a note to us to read on our first anniversary. a lot of people did it!
• bingo cards: $77 - because we had so many appetizers, we did a fun little thing and had postcards printed from moo with a “bingo card” of the appetizers and signature cocktails. i designed it myself in canva. i am an insane person so i asked minted for the hex codes for the colors so they would match the printed table numbers. i regret nothing.
• custom golf pencils: $57.95 (for the bingo cards). leftovers of these will just get used for golf. these were at the point where $60 was like, “whatever.”

foam party hats: $450. okay, hear me out. we saw these on shark tank and bought them. they were HILARIOUS, high-quality, and everyone wore them on the dance floor (including the band). we bought while they were having a sale. the image of my father in a foam carmen miranda hat dancing to abba will never leave me.

stationery: $573. we did digital save-the-dates, paper invitations with online RSVP (no details card), and thank you cards. all print products were from minted and i would recommend them (ESPECIALLY for the address printing).

hotel: $1,085.72 for 2 nights at a hotel right around the corner from our venue. even though we live in the city, this was ten thousand percent worth it, if only so we didn’t confuse our dog. dog sitter was not included in this tally.

getting-ready space: $1,541. this was some of the best money we spent all weekend. originally we were just going to book another hotel room, but the rooms at our hotel, while beautiful, are notoriously tiny. we ended up booking their beautiful meeting rooms - which, while shared, had no one else in there while we were there, so we had the run of the entire space. the cost was based off a food and beverage minimum, so food & drinks all day were sorted as well. this allowed our entire wedding party + families to hang out together all day (we only separated for the last few minutes before first look) and it was WONDERFUL.

gifts: $660.54 for a gift for our officiant and gifts for our wedding party, plus the groomsmen’s ties and pocket squares.

welcome drinks: $2,450.76. we picked up the tab for the welcome drinks the night before at a hotel bar.

day-after event: $150 to reserve some space at a brewery-esque place near the venue. everyone was on their own food-and-drink-wise on this day.

the rehearsal dinner is not included in this breakdown, but i will toss in the $154 we spent on place cards for the evening, because “i’ll do them myself in canva!” turned into accidentally ordering 40 place cards all with my mother’s name on them. we turned to minted after that. this number also includes some simple tabletop signage for the night.

for us, this spend was pretty much all worth it. we were VERY fortunate to have generous family help and also to be able to pick up some slack ourselves. overall, we had an incredible weekend, and would get married once a month if we could.

consider this us paying it forward - this sub was hugely helpful, even though i lurked the whole time for the 18 months we were planning this thing!