How to let go of resentments with parents.

Form a young age nai me and my siblings have witnessed financial troubles and arguments till the point where my parents almost divorced. I was only 9 or 10 Teiti bela. Pachi ayera mero sibling ko bachelors ma Covid le Dhakka diyo and he lost 2 years.

He’d gone to the county my parents chose and studied the subject they preferred. He’s also stayed in a hostel all his life till 12. Usko Covid my loss hudah he decided to leave his current subject because that was his dream. My parents ofc got I upset ani for almost 2 years eutai jhagda bhayo ghar ma.

I was 14 by then and my parents used to say words like “yes le kei garera khadaina “ to my sibling. I felt so burdened by these things I took it as a responsibility to earn for my parents and be successful. I put so much pressure in myself I started fearing failure and basically ruined my alevels.

Aile I’m going out of country for a scholarship program. This may sound dumb but my parents promised me for months and they’d come drop me off uni ma. I didn’t even ask them to afai bhanyo. Ma tie mentality bokdai I was pretty happy. But suddenly hijo ayera my parents told me na aune arko country visit garchau hami. I was pretty disappointed and mad.

Aja chai visa ko lagi Jane bhanyo. Time Baki thiyo but my dad said visa ko lagi apply garne. He said embassy janu parcha but maile time kun bhanekai yaad bhayena. Ani ma pani testai pheri I forgot to ask him kati baje jane.

I woke up around 7 ani my dad called me a tells me Dhilo huncha yeta uta and by his tone he sounded disappointed nai. I could hear Hom say things. I felt under pressure ani chito ready bhaye. Hijo Kai kura ra dad ko tone sunera I got pretty sad and cried a little.

My parents saw this and instantly started yelling sm till I lost my patience and blurted out shit I didn’t mean. I only cried a little bit they made it a big deal nai.

Pachi te visa ko center ma jadah tw embassy ma haina raicha just documents bujayera Jane raicha. Took less than 10 mins and hami office timing mai gako bhayeni kaam sakine raicha. My dad over exaggerated it a little. Idk these things happen so often it affects me mentally nai. I feel weak nai but yesto kura ma I only get affected when it’s family. Aru sathi Bhai hudah I easily brush it off

Idk how to get rid of this habit where I constantly go back to the past and feel hurt about everything my parents did.

PS: SORRY FOR THIS LONG ASS RANT 😭